……… by ric justiss
Today many - if not most - marriages end in divorce.
Mainly because they marry for the wrong reasons. The
best reason to marry someone is companionship. For a
marriage to be successful, both partners must have a
genuine companionship. Marriage is not a ritual or an end.
It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than this sense of unity. You have to feel that
either "we are going to the top together" or "we are going
down together." "Whatever happens happens! But it will
happen for us together."
It is not about sex and it is not about gazing at each other. It is more serious than that.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
There are no promises that all will be great. We promise "for better or worse." That means
just that. It might be worse. It very well could be. But the companionship I'm talking about is
ok with that. "Bring it on and we will face it together."
Great couples have faced some very bad circumstances together. Terrible illnesses.
Financial ruin. House burning down. Tragedy to children. You name it. But they faced it
together. As the years go by, the couple's hearts mature and the companionship becomes
deep-burning and unquenchable. You share each others gladness and weep each other's
tears. One of the things my life has taught me is how important it is to try to say, "I love you"
in ways that are real - not just words - but actions that back it up and make the person being
loved know without a doubt that their companionship is the most important thing in the
When considering getting married ask your self this:
Are we compatible? It is more than liking the same activities, same foods, same movies and
music, etc. Being compatible in a marriage is having the ability to adapt to changes. People
constantly change from day to day and will continue to do so in marriages. Work, finances,
children, and in-laws are just some of the changes that occur in a marriage. The key is to be
on the same page.
Do you trust one another? Having your partner's trust is a must have in a relationship. If
there is the slightest doubt in either of the partners' mind, then there is no trust.
Relationships thrive on trust and cannot survive without it.
Is there communication? It is essential. There is no way around it. You have to have sincere
and honest communication.
Some people marry for the wrong reasons. Others start out fine but somewhere along the
way, and for a multitude of reasons, these important details of a healthy marriage are lost.
And once lost, it is over. You are either in the same boat or you are not.
The beginning and the end of enjoying your life is to find companionship. It is a hard quest,
but worth it. But make the right choice, because it is this persons presence that will greatly
influence the person you become.
But all of this is also true spiritually. The two are parallel. But that is another lesson.
Blessings to you my friend. Ric
September 28, 2010